"I'm Just Saying"

Original posted 06-10-2002 at PFFA.

"I'm Just Saying"
by David Mamet

I'm just saying.
I ate the plums
the freezer.
For breakfast,
saving for, listen,
no, list-- oh fuck
me.... I'm... I...
forgive me, for breakfast.
Sorry. Forgi-- Cold.
Yeah, cold.
And delicious.

-----

Obviously a riff on William Carlos Williams. I think this is okay-funny, but I don't think it's well-crafted. Too choppy. I have tried to revise this to be a) truer to the original's format, b) truer to Mamet, and c) truer to teh funny. None of these revisions really worked. So here's another one:


"I'm Just Saying"
by David Mamet

I'm just saying.
I ate the plums
the freezer.

What can one man
say to that?
I am thawing plums.
Plums Thawed --
Since Nineteen Senny-Nine.
For breakfast, probably.

I'm sorry.
Forgive me.

Fuck me they were cold.


or


"I'm Just Saying"
by David Mamet,
as read by Joe Montegna

I'm just saying.
I ate the plums
the freezer.

I figure, for breakfast.
Since nineteen senny-nine
you were saving them
or what, I don't know.

I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Guess I can't
come to your
birthday party.

Fuck me they were cold.

-----

There's still something wrong, though. I really want this one to be great, but maybe it's just not going to happen.
EDITED TO ADD: I am now enamored of the Montegna one.
Also, see this one.